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About Varied / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester RoseFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
5 Month Core Membership
Statistics 1,177 Deviations 2,857 Comments 12,440 Pageviews

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Lovely photos/artwork/literature ^^
  • Listening to: Ed Sheeran-Don't
Still just some poetry and attempts at writing-in a notebook-some stuff, some of which hasn't made it to here.
Art-wise, had a few ideas and doodled on my wacom but it was crap so didn't post anything.

I can't say things got better; in some ways more panic stuff and breakdowns and crap but in other ways ... I dunno.
Probably will start 'regular' meetings with a church lady I've seen and talked with a couple times. I definitely
do feel better after talking with her, she seems to actually get me and listen and ... know stuff. But
in the end, I'm not really after 'feeling better' because that never lasts. Plus I go right back home and have
to deal with my parents.
I guess I do believe in God. She said something like, to you do you KNOW God exists, even if you feel he doesn't?
Yeah. I mean I pray for other people and stuff but when it comes to me ... I don't feel like he exists much at all.
But I still believe he does (I guess?). But I can still ... 'feel' again like ... easily go about auto and like he has no place in my
life at all, like just existing so, I get it. So hope and faith and belief like consciously ... stuff ... it's just not really
there, right now, for me. I suppose you could say I've 'challenged' him and stuff but not like anything happened
so it's all rather nil right now; like waiting on the air to suddenly form something and be/do/something I don't ... meh.
It's really difficult to be 'happy' or positive or any of that, for me. I don't smile really, don't laugh often or anything.
Need to get some life again. Somehow. : p (lol ironically compared to most recent poem, though what applies to
that is the rare milliseconds when I feel stuffs and 'see' things I guess)


LayaAmaranthi's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Current Residence: Earth
Favourite cartoon character: Aang, Howl, Nezumi, Rin,
Personal Quote: Writing is the only socially acceptable form of insanity.


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Axxawut Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2016  Student Writer
Thank you for the llama! Kao Emoji-08 (Kyaa Cute and Shy) [V1] 
LayaAmaranthi Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :D
HugQueen Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2016   Writer
LayaAmaranthi Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2015
Thanks for the fave! :]
LayaAmaranthi Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Yer most welcome. :D
DespicableMe1 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav!
LayaAmaranthi Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Ye are most welcome. :D
FridgePoetProject Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
LayaAmaranthi Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
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