shall soon be here, and all I want is books.
I'm terrible at gift-giving. Or perhaps I should say gift-finding. Unless someone tells me exactly what they want (and I can afford it). But I also rather hate that, because I remember as a kid, everything being so much more of a surprise instead of giving an actual list of like five things and expecting that. I mean I guess I was asked, it just seemed more of a ... more pleasant? To find things people might like instead of being given a list of things to pick and choose from.
Maybe it's just because I was little and so everyone pretended to enjoy what I got them cause, well, fragile little souls and self-confidence and all that.
Still, it seems almost more like a chore now-even though yes, I do absolutely love my family-and it's just, blah. I'm sure it's a bit of the same for my family as well, because now that we're all listing for each other, we sort of expect more to choose from than just, books, or hunting.
But anything I want, I can pay for myself pretty much, so it's hard to be like, oh iTunes gift card, books, games, notebooks, clothes ... because I can get that all myself. Sure it might be nice not to have to pay for it, but then I feel guilty in spite of it being a gift, in spite of it being Christmas, because I could totally just go to the store and buy that myself and they wouldn't need to.
I like the idea of stockings so much better. Random candies and little knick-knacks, and then just a lovely Christmas breakfast and spending time with each other and complaining about the snow. XD That sounds so much better. Just that. Of course I'm working on Christmas anyway but honestly can't complain about that since I've had all my Christmases off before, I think.
I'm spending a small fortune-okay to many it'd be like holy shizznits-on the person whose name I picked out of the bowl simply because I don't know what else to get them and they don't need/want anything else--and because I can't think of what else to get them that they'd actually use/don't have. So they told me what they had half of to pay for, and I'm paying for the other half. It's like ... 200% more than I've ever spent during Christmas, and ironic cause I'm trying
to save up. And all the other people will be spending like 25$ on each other and will be quite jelly. Especially since I'm not planning on spending so much ever again, EVER AGAIN on someone unless I'm making like 50,000$ a year. So it will be quite unfair I suppose, only I don't really have a better more fair alternative without getting in a little tiff, and I did promise. This will be the third time in a row that I'm spending/loaning/whatever a sizeable amount of money, and of course it's gone through two people so far, and what if the others are like "well, my turn now, only fair since you helped them out/whatever" ... I'm not made of money ...
Does that make me a Grinch? >.> "I'm sorry I spent so much money on that person last Christmas and now I'm back to the 25$ limit, but I really didn't want to spend that anyway and here are a couple DVDS (or something)."
I really think just stockings and a breakfast would be just lovely.